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Hurricanes and Marriage

gialucy1

It seems in my circle here on Kaua’i, we have been beset by the death of parents this year. It is interesting to note that all have been Christians and married for over sixty years.


Funerals become a celebration of life when the person is a Christ follower. It is truly a horrible separation when they are not.


My mother died a couple of months ago. I have been watching my Dad closely. It is funny the lessons you learn by just watching. My parents were married for sixty-five years…they are still married, though they are physically apart. In the morning he has coffee with her. There is a picture on the table by his medication. By his favorite chair, another picture is turned to greet him. Marriage is wonderful when done right.


Again, Marriage is wonderful when done right.


A famous actress once said, “If I get married, I want to be very married.” And she was..several times.


But, we know, Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new, why? because “like is an emotion but love, love is a decision”.


I regularly tell couples that their first year of marriage is going to be tumultuous. Because after you make the legal declaration and start living together, all that stuff that was hidden while dating begins to show itself. You will now have to face the reality of a life together, both the pleasures and the pain of that reality, and that to grow the relationship it’s gonna take some work.


The "I do" was easy.


The work afterward, is gonna take some effort because things are gonna be coming up, things that were unseen, unknown, unanticipated.


The goal is to grow the relationship. Again, “Like is an emotion but love is a decision.”


Today, decide to work on the “love of God”. We all go through growing pains but to stay together with your God, well, I’m all for it.


There are even seasons where you might be mad at God or have some complaint.


A few years ago I had a Men’s Bible Study in Hanalei. For some reason, it started becoming a “bitchfest” about their spouses. For the record, my wife is perfect! I truly don’t mind that she is too short to get the toothpaste into the sink. I don’t mind at all wiping it down with my hand…aagh.


Anyways, we had two widowers. One fed up, finally shared, “I wish I could argue with my wife”. Ouch.


You know it is O.K. to argue with God but the key is to take advantage of the relationship He gave you. Just talk story, remember the days when you didn’t have that. Sadly, some people will never be married to God, they will never choose it.


He loves us, died for us, and has a home for us eternally. That decides it for me, God, let’s talk story today and every day. Let’s work on love. I just wish they made clear toothpaste.

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